Second

I don’t know who is to blame. I strongly refuse to acknowledge my fault, but he knew very well what he was getting himself into and what he was doing. He knew he belonged to someone else, but still somewhat desired me. And I knew it all perfectly well. I knew that someone was waiting for him home, in bed, while he was still with me. That she was squeezing bed sheets in her hands and cursing herself because of what she allowed to happen to herself again. And she calls him for twentieth time, but still phone secretary answers. All the while we are also squeezing bed sheets but in a different kind of way, and enjoying one another. Not caring for her, or anyone in the world. Admittedly, I knew he was cheating on her, not only with me, but with five other girls as well. But those girls didn’t know it, unlike me.

And I didn’t mind, as our relationship wasn’t emotional, but purely physical.
But! I really am a bad person, so I had to go to work at his girlfriend’s and have fun with my girls. Fine, that’s my fault, because I really like taken guys. I think this is my fourth one. But, oh well, everyone has its flaws. Mine is that I like to be the second lover because of its advantages, I’ll get back to that later, and that I’m bitchy full time, so my girls say.
Maya and Atea totally agree with me and my views, but Ella doesn’t, as always. She can’t wait for karma to struck us. It struck me, I’ll also get to that later.
“So, what are the advantages of being a second lover?” they asked me during my last breakfast in Dubrovnik for that year. As soon as Atea spoke those word, I received a call from him and just rejected it.
“That is one advantage.” I said, and Maya elaborated with a really smart sentence, which I wanted to say myself.
“She doesn’t have to be only with him, just like he isn’t just with her.”                           „Even tho he act’s like that!“ said Ella. „He really is a control freak. I guess he is like that with every one of his girls?“

Honestly, i didn’t know the answer and i didn’t really care. I only knew that he is good in bed and that was all it mattered to me. Third advantage was that i didn’t have to worry if he would want to sleep over, because i don’t like to share my bed. My actions were my own and i felt good about it, because everyone has those drunken nights in someone else arms,singing till morning and spending money we really don’t have. I could’ve ended it any moment without saying one word. So could he. One more advantage. I mean, dating guys that are taken has it’s expiration date and everybody knows when the last touch is given.

And by now you probably know Maya was not the only one with a guy that is taken,but me too. And that is alright. And how was i struck by karma? His girlfriend found out. We were coming back from a night out when i heard i got a message on Facebook. I was wondering who could it be this late at night or early morning, depends how you look at it. I took my phone out to check and who was it? Her! I showed my girls. I couldn’t believe it. I got my act together and answered all her questions. With that i destroyed mine and his romance. But not his and her’s, because after all, such „love“ is hard to break.

I’m just joking, i don’t know if they are still together. Am a terrible person because i don’t care that she found out, because i don’t care if he survived that night he got home and she was there, waiting for him,mad and crying. I don’t feel sorry. For him or for her. And she is stupid if she forgives him. And she is stupid if she thinks i was his only side girl. Am not. I know of three more girls he „hangs out“ with. She forgave him before so why wouldn’t she now? How can she do that to herself? Don’t be an idiot, am writing this as a person who is often the girl on the side. Run, don’t cry and don’t turn around, because they don’t know how to be loyal. You are not happy so don’t act like you are.

You deserve better.

Lucija XX

 


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